06.28.10
What Makes a Marriage Work
If someone had the answer as to exactly what makes a marriage work, it would clearly be worthy of a patent. If only it were that simple. Both sets of my grandparents were married for more than 50 years. My paternal great-grandparents were married for 78 years. From what I’ve been told, they were as much, if not more, in love when they were in the upper 90’s than they were when they first married in the early 1900’s.
My parents celebrated their 48th wedding anniversary this month. That many years and four kids later, I am grateful they have provided such a wonderful model for me and my siblings. People have often sought their advice and counsel over the years. They say it boils down to really just the basics.
“You have to have a lot of patience, endurance, and lots of love,” my mother says. “You certainly have to have respect for each other. You really have to be forgiving and develop a thick skin, so you won’t be offended at what one says or does.”
It also helps to have similar interests, she points out. My Dad agrees adding that selfishness does not belong in a marriage.
“You have to have mutual understanding and mutual respect and a desire to be as concerned about the other person as you are about yourself,” he says.
Hmm, food for thought. My Grandmother, at the tender age of 97, still likes to dole out marriage advice from time to time. She says it definitely takes two to tango.
“It’s about give and take,” she says. “You can’t be too critical either… none’s perfect but the Lord.”
Amen, Grandma.
